1 Bhola goes to a grocery store. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks Bhola to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. Bhola goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.
Next week Bhola finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks Bhola to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. Bhola goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.
Next week Bhola comes to the grocery store with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out. He shouts at Bhola: "What! This is shit!"
Bhola calmly replies: "Yes, and I want toilet paper"
2 Exam paper -
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one being Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Gujarat
(b) Russia
(c) Canada
(d) Pakistan
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do you have?
19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?
20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
(a) B.C.
(b) A.D.
(c) still waiting *You must answer at least three questions correctly to qualify*
3
Sindhi lawyer: Case-wani
Sindhi lawyer after a case: Purse-wani
The blue-skier sindhi: Akash-wani
Supplied in south indian hospitals: Nursing gum
Desi who falls at people's feet: Charan Singh
Desi who falls at peopls' feet and stays there: Gir charan Singh
What is a smart Malayalee called?
Debo-nair.
What is a dynamic malayalee called ?
Pheno-Menon.
Why did the malayalee crossed the road ?
Simbly.
What did one Bengali voyeur ask another?
Keyhollo.
How was wire invented?
Two marwaris spotted the same coin.
Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.
What is a communist Sindhi called?
Lalwani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called?
Thadani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor called?
Kriplani.
What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor called?
Marjani.
What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
I, Iyer, Iyengar.
What is a jiving Sardar called?
Breakdan Singh.
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ?
Just-beer Singh.
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink ?
Just-one Singh.
a sikh scuba diver .. JULL-UNDER SINGH
a better adapted sikh diver .. JULLUNDER SINGH GILL
a bald sardarjee .. BAL-WANT SINGH
What does a sardarjee say to a whore ?
.. WHORE JEE, KI HAL HAI ?
Why do you say (Bhagwan Shri) Rajneesh detests city life ?
'cos, from Koregaon he went to Oreg(a)on.
Why is A.P the land of underwears ?
'cos there they keep saying - yemUNDEE, chappUNDEE, koorchUNDDEE etc.
What is the (State) Anthem of A.P ?
telan-gana-mana ...
What is the most famous jingle in A.P ?
A.P days are here again ...
What do you call a bong who talks a lot, sometimes without making sense?
Mr. Chatter Jee.
Who is that guy visiting the Golden Temple everyday?
Har Mandir Singh.
What do you call a very rich Malayalee?
Million Iyer
Who is he who has many publications to his credit?
Journal Singh
What do you call a bong who takes bribe?
Mr. Goosh
Who is he who visited the Russia-China border?
Long Wall Singh
Who is that guy who enlightens others?
Lanthanwalla
What do you call a sikh female's boyfriend?
Her Pal Singh
What do you call a sikh guy running towards the enemy camp with a white flag
in his hand?
Surrender Singh
How does a malayalee spell the word 'MOON' ?
M - O yet another O N.
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